Elderly women are often victims of gender-based violence. Why is it so hard for them to get help?

Ageism, sexism and dependence leave many older women trapped in abusive relationships.

fizkes/ShutterstockIn 1997, Ana Orantes appeared on an Andalusian television programme to recount a lifetime of abuse at the hands of her husband. Just a few days after her harrowing testimony, she was brutally murdered by her abuser. Her case prompted a widespread reckoning on gender-based violence in Spain, which led to significant legislative reforms.

Ana Orantes died at the age of 60 as an elderly woman who had suffered violence and abuse for 40 years. But today, despite the impact that her case had, older victims of gender-based violence remain marginalised, to the point of being practically invisible. They do not fit the social stereotype of a victim, which we tend to associate with a young woman, often with young children in her care.

But while gender-based violence affects all kinds of women, of all ages and from all walks of life, not all victims find themselves in the same circumstances. And for any intervention to work, it must take this complex reality into account.

History and dependence

Elder gender-based abuse often merges two realities: domestic violence stretching back years or decades, and abuse of older people associated with dependence and care, often in the form of neglect or psychological abuse.

When a victim has health problems, is frail or needs depends on their partner for care, it can be difficult to distinguish between these two situations. A husband can be both a carer and an abuser, and in certain cases the strain of caring for a dependent person can actually be what reveals violence that had long existed in other forms.

Furthermore, many older women grew up under traditional models of the family and gender relations. Ideas such as the notion that marriage is for life or that family must take precedence over personal problems have fostered a culture of “grin-and-bear-it”. This can help to normalise abuse, and keep women in abusive relationships for decades.

These attitudes are sometimes compounded by a lack of support from the wider family. Children who grew up with a violent father, for instance, may blame their mother for staying in the relationship.

Additional factors make it difficult to seek help or break free from the cycle of violence. These include financial dependence, a shrinking support network, fear of the future, fear of ending up in a care home, or isolation.

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The intersection of ageism and violence

The concept of intersectionality can help us understand this type of violence. It is a simple idea: some people experience several forms of discrimination at the same time. These do not merely add up – they combine in ways that create situations of even greater vulnerability.

An intersectional perspective can help us to understand that not all women experience gender-based violence in the same way. It helps us to analyse the effects that these inequalities have on everyday life, as well as the way institutions and public policies recognise and address them.

In cases of elder gender-based violence, the main intersecting drivers of inequality are: being a woman, a victim of violence, and an older person. There may be others: living in a rural area, for example, or having a disability or being dependent on care. However, the main forms of discrimination that intersect are sexism and ageism.

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Ageism refers to how we think, feel and act towards people based on their age. It can manifest in many places. Within institutions, there may be rules or practices that discriminate on the basis of age. It can also appear in interpersonal relationships, or even be self-inflicted when an older person internalises stereotypes about themselves.

Gender-based violence and ageism are distinct but related. Both are rooted in deep prejudices about gender and age. In the case of older women, stereotypes such as their role as carers, their financial dependence on their husbands, or the notion that frailty is an inherent part of old age can contribute to hiding the violence they suffer. This in turn prevents them from accessing the help they need to escape an abusive relationship.

Proper intervention

This is a field that still needs more research. There is a particular need for reliable data on how many women suffer this kind of violence, as well as on their health, care needs, economic situations and family circumstances.

It is also important to develop specific resources that take into account their age and other circumstances. This can be done by, for example, adapting women’s shelters to the needs of older women, or by creating emergency places in state-run care homes for women who are the victims of abuse and require care.

Awareness and prevention campaigns should also include older women and reach the places they frequent, such as day centres, community groups or care homes. Furthermore, simplifying administrative procedures – through straightforward language and minimal dependence on digital tools – can make it much easier to access resources.

Many older women also find it difficult to access the justice system or support services, where procedures can be lengthy and complex.

Lastly, professionals need to be trained to handle these cases appropriately. Not all victims are the same, and they must be supported in a way that takes these differences into account.

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Jorge Gracia Ibáñez no recibe salario, ni ejerce labores de consultoría, ni posee acciones, ni recibe financiación de ninguna compañía u organización que pueda obtener beneficio de este artículo, y ha declarado carecer de vínculos relevantes más allá del cargo académico citado.

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